Money and Parenting: 5 Reasons Why Saying “No” Now Can Allow You to Say “Yes” Later
🕐 Read Time 5 Minutes
As parents, we want to provide the absolute best for our children. We want to give them every opportunity to learn, grow and thrive, especially when living under our roofs.
We want to give them a curated, challenging education, a joyful childhood, encouraging friendships, engaging experiences, and a solid financial foundation for their future.
However, as much as we want to give them the world, we also need to be responsible for our own financial goals and futures. It can be a delicate balancing act, wanting to provide for all of our children’s desires and ensuring our financial stability for the future.
How do we help them understand that our “no” today is allowing us to say “yes” to bigger, more meaningful things in the future?
As we consider the bigger picture and weigh our financial priorities, we can invite our children into our thought processes. This can ultimately help them understand the reasoning behind your decisions and lead them to make their own wise decisions in the future.
5 Reasons Why Saying “No” Now Can Allow You to Say “Yes” Later
There are many incredibly important reasons why you might want to say “no” to your children’s current, impulsive money desires, so you can say “yes” later to things that will ultimately benefit them more.
They’ll get more quality time with their parents.
Their parents will be happier and less stressed.
Their future needs will be taken care of.
Their parent’s retirement needs will be taken care of.
Their character will be developed.
1. They’ll get more quality time with their parents
If money is continually flowing out that means parents need to earn more in order to keep up. In addition, lifestyle inflation makes it almost impossible to ever feel like you have “enough”.
When parents have to continually grind to get more promotions, higher-paying jobs, and maybe even side hustles, it sacrifices quality time with their children. Sacred family time is already threatened because of our modern, fast-paced lives requiring our constant attention, resources, and time.
It’s very difficult to break out of a cycle of killing oneself to work more to provide more.
2. Their parents will be happier and less stressed
Overworking to provide extraordinary experiences, toys, and other desires can lead to various health problems such as depression, impaired sleep, diabetes, impaired memory, heart disease, and heavy drinking.
When families work enough to provide for basic needs and a few extra luxuries and comforts (a delicate balance), parents can feel happier and less stressed.
As individuals and families, money can only buy us so much happiness. A popular study shows that people reported being happier as their income grew, but only until they reached a financially stable point.
The amount of income and savings to be financially stable will be different for everyone, especially considering the different costs of living around the country. But the point remains. Money alone cannot buy us endless happiness.
3. Their future needs will be saved for
In a world of social media influencers and constant advertising, your children don’t have to look far to find something they desire. And because children have difficulty understanding the concept of delayed gratification (as do many adults), it can seem foreign to them to put off a desire they have today for a future need.
Teaching them delayed gratification and the art of prioritizing takes time and patience. You can bring these concepts into non-financial situations as well such as with food or homework lessons.
For example, “You can have one cookie now, or wait 30 minutes and have two cookies.” Or, “You can buy two things from the Dollar Spot today, or save up and buy the Lego set you really want in a couple of weeks.”
This concept ultimately goes beyond cookies and Legos. By prioritizing and practicing delayed gratification, children learn to say “no” to their current, impulsive needs, for their future selves to be taken care of. This can translate into saving for a car, house, and even retirement.
4. Their parent’s retirement needs will be taken care of.
Your kiddos only get one childhood and you want to make sure it’s one filled with exciting experiences and met desires. I get it.
But imagine with me for a moment that you’re approaching retirement age and your nest egg is… not sufficient. You realize that to survive, you have to contact your adult children and ask for financial help.
This is arguably more inconvenient and burdensome than saying “no” to your children when they’re little and teaching them how to live financially responsible lives. By prioritizing your retirement, you can ensure you’re not a financial burden in your golden years.
5. Their character will be developed.
Nobody wants a spoiled child. But when you’re in the toy section at Walmart and your daughter just has to have the new purple Squishmallow (even though she has precisely eight at home), it can be harder to say “no” than “yes”.
These situations happen all the time. You take your family to the zoo intending to eat the homemade lunch you packed, but your children see others eating food from the snack cart and beg to have some.
Turning these situations into learning opportunities—rather than avoiding a scene or stopping the crying at all costs—can help develop both your and your child’s character. These are optimum teaching moments to practice mindfulness and gratefulness.
This can also lead to conversations about strong work ethics. If your child truly wants something, they can work hard to make it a reality. Be sure to mention things you’re saving for, too!
4 Practical Ways to Practice Financial Responsibility with Your Children
1. Write down their desires. In the moment, it’s challenging for children to think about anything except what’s right in front of them. If they desire to purchase something and we say “no”, they can feel upset and think we don’t care about what they like or want.
Practice writing down their request! This shows that you’re listening and that you care about their desire. The moment will pass and oftentimes, the child will forget about it entirely. If they do remember it later, then you can discuss ways they can earn and save money to purchase it.
2. Encourage them to earn money. This is a great way to teach them the value of hard work and money. You can help your children find ways to earn money such as doing chores for neighbors, pet walking or sitting, or selling items they no longer need.
3. Teach them to budget. Invite them to look at your budget and show them how they can create one for themselves. Tailor this for your child’s age and the amount of money they regularly receive from allowances, gifts, or jobs.
4. Show them how to be smart shoppers. Involve them in your everyday shopping (especially at the grocery store!) and teach them how to shop sales and comparison shop. You can also give them strategies to fight impulse purchases (like eating before you go grocery shopping).
Make Personal Finance Fun for the Whole Family with Financial Fitness Coaching
With these points in mind, I don’t want you to conclude that you have to have a deprivation mindset or always say “no” to your children to provide well for your family’s future.
Part of having a strong financial plan is being able to live a fulfilling, fun life. With the right tools and resources, you’ll learn how to balance your resources, goals, and even your children’s requests.
At Financial Fitness Coaching, we’re all about encouraging strong family relationships. We can help your whole family gain greater financial literacy and make smarter decisions about your money for a more secure and stable financial future.
To see how we can help you and your family build good financial habits, email us at info@financialfitnesscoaching or simply schedule a free 20-minute Discovery Call on our calendar.