Another Finance Fight? Why It’s Important to Talk About Finances With Your Partner
When it comes to intimate relationships, money is often considered a topic to be avoided at all costs. We always think we should stay away from the subject for fear that it might put others off. Why bring up something that could make someone uncomfortable? Why bring up something so serious?
The reality is that talking about money early in a relationship can save you a lot of heartache later on. One of the top-cited reasons for divorce and breakups is financial differences or arguments about money. To save yourself trouble down the road, it’s vital to discuss finances with your partner or spouse as soon as it makes sense to do so. While it might feel hard or uncomfortable, talking about money will help you keep a happy and healthy relationship long-term!
One REALLY important note about this topic: even if you don’t plan to combine finances in your relationship, money is still essential to talk about. You cannot spend life with someone and be unaffected by their financial decisions. You need to have these conversations too!
In this article, we’ll discuss the importance of talking to your spouse or partner about finances, common money disagreements, and strategies for reconciling these differences.
Why Money Conversations Are Important
Money conversations may feel dry for a date or weekend together, but the truth is that making intentional time to have them will bring a more favorable outcome. Even though we’ve been culturally turned off from this particular topic, ask yourself this question: “Do I want to be blindsided by a topic this important later in the relationship?”
Finances affect so much of our lives and to leave the topic off the table until after you’ve made long-term commitments is a dangerous game to play. Let’s take a minute to think about why these types of talks can be so important.
One major reason why talking about money is important in a marriage is that it helps to establish trust and honesty in the relationship. When couples avoid discussing finances, it can lead to mistrust and misunderstandings. By being open and honest with each other about their financial situation, couples can build a foundation of trust that will serve them well in the future.
Another reason why talking about money is important is that it allows couples to plan for the future together. By discussing their financial goals and creating a plan to achieve them, couples can work together to build a secure financial future. This can include saving for a down payment on a house, planning for retirement, or saving for their children's education. Having these conversations early on can help couples avoid financial stress as the relationship grows.
A topic as big and impactful to you probably isn’t one you want to be surprised by. Put in the work to have this conversation early and you’ll find it can actually open up communication, build trust, and keep you both from being surprised at a later date.
Common Money Disagreements
Despite the importance of talking about money in a marriage, many couples still struggle to do so and it can lead to disagreements or even all-out fights.
One of the most common money disagreements involves spending habits. One partner may be more frugal, while the other may be more of a spender. This can lead to tension and conflict. Just imagine being in a relationship where you work hard to save and save and save and your partner is always out spending and spending and spending. That would drive you nuts! Don’t let this be you…
What’s important to remember is that everyone has different money values and priorities. Instead of criticizing or judging each other's spending habits, as a first step, couples should try to understand and respect each other's perspectives. Coming up with a shared financial strategy can come later.
Another common money disagreement revolves around the budget. Each partner may have different ideas about how money should be allocated and saved throughout the month or year. These differences of opinion can lead to a lot of strife. Set a plan together about how you’ll save and what you want to save for. It might not sound like it, but creating a budget is a great relationship-building opportunity!
Perhaps the most taboo money topic to discuss is personal debt. While this one may be harder to talk about, it’s an absolute necessity. When you make a relationship commitment to someone you are signing on to all that they are and all that they have (or don’t have). Are you prepared to jump into a relationship with someone who has thousands, or even hundreds or thousands, of dollars in debt?
If you’re not careful, this particular discussion can get ugly fast. Since it’s extremely personal, talking about debt can result in a lot of finger-pointing about bad decisions, especially if you’ve already made a commitment to someone and are only dealing with the topic afterward.
Talk about this upfront and avoid this problem once you’re hitched! It may be that you’re able to come up with a plan to pay off the debt together or maybe you need to seek professional assistance to help you in getting it done. It could even be that this is an insurmountable issue for one of you. But you won’t know any of this unless you talk about it.
How To Talk About Finances With Your Partner
At this point, you may be thinking, “Okay great, I can see the importance of talking about money now, but how do I do it?” Well, if you’re wondering about how to talk about finances with your partner, we’ve got you covered!
When it comes to reconciling financial differences, it’s important to set shared financial goals and develop a plan to achieve them. This can include creating a budget, setting savings goals, and creating a plan to pay off debt. It can also be helpful to seek the advice of a financial coach or counselor. Create a plan, stick to it, and you’ll find yourself finally getting on the same page with your partner about money.
Another effective strategy for reconciling financial differences is to establish clear roles and responsibilities for managing the finances. For example, one partner may be responsible for paying bills, while the other may handle investments. By dividing the responsibilities, couples can work together to achieve their financial goals while also respecting each other's strengths and preferences.
It's also important to be open to compromise and to be willing to make sacrifices for the sake of your shared goals. This can mean cutting back on discretionary spending, taking on a side job, or working overtime to increase income. To be clear, compromising doesn’t mean being willing to make poor financial decisions like spending more than you have. However, if you have a little extra at the end of the month, don’t be afraid to let loose just a little and do something together!
Talking about finances with your spouse or partner may be one of the harder things you have to do in your relationship, but it’s important in building trust and creating unity. Money disagreements can cause stress and strain, but by discussing finances openly and honestly, couples can work together to create a shared financial vision and set goals for their future together.
By setting shared financial goals, developing a plan to achieve them, and seeking professional help, if necessary, couples can reconcile their financial differences and build a strong financial foundation for their relationship.
Let Financial Fitness Coaching Help You Have the Money Conversation!
At Financial Fitness Coaching we know the difficulties of talking about money. It’s hard enough when you’re just talking about your own finances. It gets five times harder when you start to talk about somebody else’s. If you need help figuring out how to talk about money productively with another human being, we’ve got you covered!
To see how we can help you and your significant other email us at info@financialfitnesscoaching or simply schedule a free 20-minute Discovery Call our calendar.