The Most Wonderful Time of Year... For Dealing with Unsolicited Financial Advice
Chances are, you may be dealing with some added stress as the holidays approach.
Whether you’re booking travel, balancing a tight giving budget, or hosting a holiday meal, you’ve got a lot on your plate during the last few months of the year.
And on top of everything else, you’re bracing for the inevitable financial advice you know you’ll receive around the holiday table.
No matter the intention, getting unwanted advice on hot financial topics can be bothersome. As a small business owner, you’ve worked hard to build and manage a business you’re proud of — and with the success you’ve seen, you must be doing something right.
But your well-meaning family can’t always help giving their two cents about what financial moves you should make — whether in your business or your personal life.
You’ve heard it before, and you may hear it again:
“Renting is always a waste of money — you should think about buying.”
“You should really talk to my financial advisor.”
“You pay your employees how much? Are you sure you can afford it?”
You can let this “advice” ruin your holiday meal, or you can learn how to deal with it. I think you’ll have a merrier holiday season by choosing the latter.
Why You Might Get Unsolicited Advice
As frustrating as unwanted advice can be, it helps to recognize why you might be getting it in the first place. In many cases, the advice you hear around the family holiday table is more a reflection of the person doling out — not the person on the receiving end. So don’t assume you need advice just because someone’s giving it to you.
Instead, consider what might be motivating someone to give you financial advice:
They might genuinely want to help you. This isn’t to say they know what they’re talking about — but most people have good intentions behind the advice they give. They might not know as much about financial topics as you, or maybe they’ve learned bad or outdated information. The point is, they care enough to want to help you.
They might want to make themselves feel better. In some cases, someone might give you financial advice in line with a choice they made. Whether the choice ended up being good or bad, they might be looking for comfort or strength in numbers. By suggesting you make a similar choice, they’re hoping to make themselves feel less unsure and alone.
They might see it as a way to connect with you. Some people may have the simple motivation of showing interest in your life and business. They might not know as much about personal finance as you — or they might not have the relevant knowledge for your situation — but they want to connect with you in an accessible way.
Don’t assume the advice you’re getting is coming from a judgemental place. It’s more likely a simple way to start a conversation with you. Understanding this motivation can help you handle unsolicited advice with a little more grace.
Controversial and Hot Financial Topics
That said, some controversial and hot financial topics tend to get much attention. Some of these topics have a clear division of perspectives, and you may find yourself at a holiday table with people who have opposing views.
You don’t need to argue with a family member who gives bad advice. But if you’re close with this person and they’re criticizing your choices, you may want to have a conversation in which you explain your reasoning.
Or, if you’re someone who tends to want to follow a loved one’s advice on autopilot, you may want to educate yourself on some of these hot topics before sitting down at the holiday table:
Homeownership: Renting vs. buying
Debt: Is it always wrong?
Investing: The stock market vs. real estate vs. cryptocurrency
Spending: What should and shouldn’t you spend on?
Saving: How much should you save, and where?
Knowing there are lots of different opinions on these hot financial topics can help keep you grounded in what you know is best for you — without feeling the need to take everyone’s advice.
How to Deal With Unsolicited Advice
There are many ways to deal with unsolicited financial advice. And the best way depends on a few different factors.
First, consider your relationship with whoever’s giving the advice. Is it a parent or sibling who you’re really close to? Or is it a distant cousin who you only see every other Thanksgiving?
If you’re getting advice from someone you rarely see, it’s probably okay to shrug it off. On the other hand, if a close family member is giving you advice, you might want to have a conversation with them — otherwise, it might keep coming and start to put a strain on your relationship.
You can also “sort” the advice. By this, I mean pick the advice apart and sort the good from the bad. Just because someone has given you bad advice in the past — or just because you don’t see eye-to-eye on everything — doesn’t mean you should ignore everything they say. They might have some valuable experience or information that could help you out if you give it a chance.
Lastly, can you guess their motivations? If someone is simply trying to connect with you — and doing so in the best way they know how — it might be worth it to simply listen, thank them for their input, and quietly ignore their advice.
Holiday conversation starters to redirect the conversation
If dealing with unsolicited advice is getting exhausting — or if it just won’t stop — you can always redirect the conversation. Don’t feel like you have to sit through three courses of Uncle Frank convincing you to put all your savings into crypto.
If you need to change the subject, go for it. Here are a few holiday conversation starters to move the discussion in a better direction:
Highlights from the year
Travel plans for the upcoming year
New Year's resolutions
Favorite holiday dish
Best books read this year
With a little creative redirection, you can avoid getting into the hot financial topics and enjoy a more welcoming, light-hearted holiday conversation.
Don’t Let Unsolicited Financial Advice Spoil Your Holidays
At Financial Fitness Coaching, I help small business owners build their financial confidence. With the right skills, knowledge, and systems in place, you can confidently manage your business finances without getting distracted by well-meaning financial advice around the holiday table.
To see how we can help you and your business email me at kristen@financialfitnesscoaching.com or simply schedule a free 20-minute Discovery Call on my calendar.